


find me among the flowers

by lilygguks



Category: Jeon Jungkook - Fandom, Min Yoongi - Fandom, yoonkook - Fandom, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Flower Shop, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Eventual Smut, Fluff, M/M, Multi, Platonic Soulmates, Romantic Soulmates, Slow Burn, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 06:57:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17279243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilygguks/pseuds/lilygguks
Summary: yoonkook soulmate au where you feel the opposite emotions of your soulmate until you both fall in lovejeongguk has never been sad





	find me among the flowers

**Author's Note:**

> i’m gonna be honest,,,, this is my first ao3 work but that’s alright!! i like to think that this is very good and i’m quite proud of it!!

in a typical day, yoongi didn’t mind life. he went about his day casually, being sure to take his antidepressants in the morning, head to the plant nursery he and his friend namjoon owned, then go home at the end of the day. however, he did mind his constant sadness.

for as long as he could remember, he’d been depressed. his mind was full with anxieties and thoughts that he refused to talk about, not even touching on them with his therapist. every day he’d wake up wishing he hadn’t before going about his routine. the routine helped him remember that his plants still needed him even if the rest of the world did not. he’d always be tied to the nursery, no matter what.

that’s exactly where he was today, slumped over the counter of his little plant shop, reading a book about lost souls. he often thought that he too was a lost soul. since he was young, he had a fascination with the subject. the idea of a soul without its counterpart, a human without their soulmate, captured his interest. he’d only met one person in his life who was a lost soul, his uncle who was now single and didn’t mind it one bit.

on the other hand, yoongi did mind. his whole life, he’d grown up seeing his family members with their soulmates, living their best lives and being happy. there was nothing in the world he wanted more than to meet his soulmate and fall in love. he wanted to be happy, too. he wanted to feel something he had never felt before.

“hyung, would you grab the fertilizer, please? we got some more berry bushes in this morning and they could really use the help.” his best friend was soft always soft with the elder, and this was no exception. yoongi hated how everyone treated him as though he would shatter. but, to be fair, yoongi /could/ shatter.

finally, yoongi pulled himself out of his book and pushed off the counter, making his way to the closet. “i’ll do it, namjoon. i need to get away from that book anyway.” yoongi called out, tugging a bag of fertilizer from the corner of the small closet. he huffed softly, tossing it into the wheelbarrow namjoon pushed over.

“missing your soulmate: how to cope, really yoongi? you’ve gotta stop reading these man, they’ll only make you more upset.” namjoon clicked his tongue, shaking his head. the elder of the two laughed breathlessly, pushing the wheelbarrow toward the greenhouse. “do you have any suggestions on how to not be upset about being a lost soul? last i checked you’re happily engaged.” the atmosphere changed with yoongi’s words. the status of namjoon and yoongi’s soulmate ship was a rather touchy subject. more often than not, they didn’t talk about it, but when they did, yoongi always made note about how namjoon had a soulmate and he did not.

“look man, it’s not my fault i met jimin. you don’t need a soulmate to be happy. i thought we were over this argument.” yoongi scoffed at his friend’s words. wordlessly, he grabbed the potted berry bush, setting it on the ground next to an open plot. namjoon rolled his eyes before grabbing the bag of fertilizer and cutting it open. the two worked quietly to dig a small hole and place the small plant, spreading fertilizer and giving it water. they continued on, repeating their actions in complete silence.

while yoongi had never experienced happiness, he had experienced the feeling of what he liked to call “absolutely nothing”. to him, that was something. feeling absolutely nothing was better than feeling like shit, and that was how he usually felt. the nursery, his plants, surrounding himself with greens and his novels on lost souls gave him that feeling of absolutely nothing. they made him come as close to happiness as he’d ever been.

sometimes he wondered if happiness was real. he’d never experienced it, so who was he to say being happy was real?

“i’ll finish these up, you go take the counter.” namjoon muttered, calling for his friend’s attention. the elder nodded, taking the now empty wheelbarrow back the way he had come.

just as he set the cart down in the corner, the door opened, bells tinkling cheerfully with another customer. yoongi put on his biggest fake smile. “welcome to kim and min’s plant nursery! i’m yoongi, is there anything i can help you with today?” for being so sad, yoongi sure was good at faking happiness.

the customer, however, was not paying the least bit attention to yoongi’s fake cheer. instead, he was laughing wildly with a friend, smile so bright it seemed to glow. yoongi rolled his eyes, continuing to keep up his facade. finally, the boy turned to face yoongi, his face still scrunched up with laughter. he sort of looked like a rabbit to yoongi.

“sorry, i was just coming to ask about buying a bouquet for my sister’s graduation! i wasn’t sure if you did that here for not, since you’re a nursery, but i thought i’d ask.” the boy seemed very polite. just cheerful and polite. quite the opposite of yoongi, but most people were.

“mm, sure. we do bouquets here,” he reached down below the counter for a pen and paper, “is there anything in particular you’d want in this arrangement? if you need some ideas we could go to the back and look at the selection we have available.” yoongi suggested kindly. the customer looked back to his friend who said something about tiger lilies before nodding to yoongi that he would most definitely need help. the smile yoongi has plastered on was beginning to hurt his cheeks as he led the two down the hall to a second green house.

as yoongi explained what the flowers meant and what ones looked good together in arrangements, he couldn’t help but notice how attractive the customer was. his features were soft and graceful; he looked innocent. the chestnut hair on his head did as it pleased, falling over his forehead and around his head, small locks sticking out ever so slightly. yoongi would be lying if he said he wasn’t at least slightly attracted to the boy.

“ah, okay... so orange and green is a no-no?” the customer asked, giving his friend a pointed look. “a very big no-no.” yoongi confirmed.

“i told you, taehyung! i told you!” the boy shouted gleefully before quickly returning to the conversation. “what would you recommend? her favorite colors are white and blue but she really loves lilacs.” the kid could seriously bounce around without a problem. it made yoongi’s head hurt.

yoongi gave his recommendations, grabbing a few already pruned flowers to demonstrate his thoughts. he added and took things away as the customer saw fit until he had a rough idea of what was wanted. the three headed back with a choice of four flowers.

“i hope she likes them. they’ll be really nice. i know they will be if you’re doing the bouquet.” the customer murmured, watching as yoongi scribbled down the order. yoongi hummed softly, glancing up. the boy only admired his scrawl.

“who’s gonna be taking the order and when do you need it by?” yoongi asked, standing straighter. 

“i am, jeon jeongguk. and i know it’s short notice, but could i have it by noon tomorrow? i’m so sorry.” the boy, jeongguk, was very apologetic, but it felt like he shouldn’t have been apologizing. someone that pretty shouldn’t have to be sorry for anything.

“it’s alright, i have nothing better to do anyway. things have been slow around here lately. i’ll have it ready by noon tomorrow.” yoongi assured jeongguk with a small smile. the boy smiled back. he suddenly took the pen from yoongi’s hand, scribbling out his number. “just in case i’m running late. anyway, i’ll see you tomorrow at noon. have a good day.” the shop owner watched as the two left.

“he seemed nice.” namjoon commented behind him, yoongi cursed, jumping. he clutched his chest as his friend laughed. “that was not funny.” he muttered sourly, pointing accusingly at the younger.

“anyway, i wanted to talk to you about maybe hiring another person. ya know, someone to help us out? we’ve been getting more regulars lately, and we’ve got a big inventory. it’s starting to get difficult for you and i to handle alone.” yoongi sighed at his friend’s words, leaning back against the counter.

“yeah... i know. it’s just... i don’t wanna bring someone in who’s gonna hurt the business. that kid last time really fucked us over. i don’t wanna repeat that.” yoongi glanced away, the harsh memory being yanked to the front of his brain.

the last time namjoon and yoongi decided to hire on an extra hand, the kid decided it would be alright if he had a few friends come hang out with him during his shift alone. he and his friends decided it would be funny to pour weed killer over the plants in their biggest greenhouse. it didn’t take long to figure out when all of the plants began dying within the next day and a half. prior to then, it had been a long time since yoongi had cried, but that had really been a breaking point. his plants made everything a bit more bearable, and seeing them all die made a part of him die too. needless to say, the kid was fired on the spot.

“we’ll keep a close eye on them, make sure we trust them. the same thing won’t happen, yoongi. we especially need the help now though, since it’s all growing back again. please think about it, okay? we can try for family or friends if that’ll make you more comfortable.” namjoon rested a hand on his friend’s shoulder for a moment before taking off his apron and tossing it onto the hook. “just think about it.” with that, namjoon made his leave.

yoongi stayed at the nursery for a while longer, taking two more bouquet orders and helping a man with a selection of trees and bushes for his yard. the work was nice and helped yoongi ignore everything around him for awhile. he really did find his job comforting. it seemed to be the only thing that made him calm.

just as he was starting to lock up the shop and turn on heat lamps for the more sensitive plants, the phone rang loudly. yoongi groaned, running to the counter and tearing off his gloves. “hello?” he asked as he picked up the receiver, shoving his gloves below the counter.

“yoongi, baby, where are you?” his mother’s voice chirped. yoongi instantly relaxed, sighing softly. it had been awhile seen he had seen his parents and siblings. he was simply too busy with the shop to meet them for the weekly dinners. despite this, he tried to keep up with weekly calls to his mother. she seemed to be the only person in the world who could bring him the feeling of absolutely nothing.

“i’m still at the shop mom.” yoongi finally replied softly, closing his eyes. she always made a feeling of lethargy pass over him, a sense that it was okay to relax now.

“come home, baby. we’re eating in an hour and you said you’d come tonight. it’s your sister’s birthday.” his mother reminded him. yoongi hummed, saying a goodbye and telling her that he’d be there in twenty minutes.

before he left, he made a beautiful bouquet with white lilies, roses, poppies, queen anne’s lace, and pink lilies. he thought it would be a nice present for his sister. the elder girl had always enjoyed his flowers. she used to come in for flowers once a week before she had her twins. now she’d call them in and have her husband pick them up for her.

yoongi finally locked up the shop and started his walk to his parents house. the hustle and bustle of the street was a nice distraction to his buzzing mind, allowing him to think of things that make him calm. it was a technique his therapist had taught him; if he focuses on the atmosphere around him, he can begin to think of things that make him calm, things that make him feel nothing instead of sadness. it worked sometimes, but it was hit or miss and never worked for long. he was lucky if he got five minutes before the feeling left.

the second that yoongi stepped onto his parents porch, the door swung open, yoongi’s two nephews and niece shouting happily for him. he put on his fake smile for the second time that day, bending down to take all three in his arms. “i missed you guys.” he mumbled into their hair, pecking the tops of their heads. that was true. he had missed them. he loved his family very much and had a very strong relationship with them. even if he couldn’t feel happiness, he did know that they brought him something close to it.

yoongi plucked his youngest nephew off the ground, heading inside with the other two children following closely behind him. “heejin, jungjin, go play. let your uncle come help with dinner. you too, hyungsoo.” yoongi’s sister, yuri, called. the three whined before scrambling off to go play with toys in the other room.

“happy birthday, yuri. sorry i didn’t get you anything too extravagant. i thought you’d like these, though. they’re all your favorites.” yoongi said softly, handing the flowers over. his sister grinned happily, examining the bouquet. she pecked his cheek before putting them into a vase already filled with water. “i figured you’d bring me flowers.” she explained briefly. he nodded once before padding to his old bedroom, calling out about needing to find something.

it had been a long time since he’d stepped foot in his childhood bedroom. there were lots of bad memories in the room, but he was trying to overcome them. lots of the memories were from fights with his parents.

there had been a period of time in yoongi’s life when the min family first discovered that he was a lost soul where they searched desperately for a soulmate for him. in all honesty, yoongi thought it was stupid. why find a soulmate for someone who doesn’t have one? his family simply wanted him to be happy. he remembered when his father told him how when he met his mother he had just known that they were soulmates. nothing changed, he just knew. yoongi still had yet to feel that, and he knew he wasn’t going to feel it. that was okay.

he lied down on his bed, staring at the ceiling. the walls and ceiling were still covered in pages from his journal on plants. he’d had a fascination with plants since he was small, so it only made sense that he was a full fledged botanist now. the journal pages were from various years of his life: some from his elementary years and others from college. those memories were nice.

“hey, dinner’s almost ready, yoon.” the voice of his older brother interrupted yoongi’s thoughts. yoongi hummed, nodding carefully. his brother sighed before crossing the room and lying down beside him. “i missed you.” the elder murmured. yoongi looked away, blinking away tears.

the last time he had seen his brother, yoongi had been in the hospital for his third attempt on his own life. he hadn’t told anyone beside his brother, worried he’d cause too much strain on his family. “can we not talk about that, youngho. i really just... i don’t want to revisit that.” yoongi whispered. he finally looked at his brother who was also on the verge of tears.

“yeah... i uh... i just worry about you. i don’t know what you’re going through and i know that, but i want you to know that mom and yuri are here for you too. we’re your family, yoongi. we aren’t gonna leave you.” youngho whispered, looking over at yoongi. the younger nodded quickly. “i know. i’m sorry i’ve got all this... i don’t even know what it is, but i’m sorry you guys have to deal with it. i promise i’m trying to get better.” youngho smile at his brother’s words, nodding in understanding.

“boys! let’s eat!” yuri called out suddenly, yanking the two out of their moment. youngho sat up, pulling yoongi with him. the two went out to the dining room to see that everyone was already seated. yoongi glanced down the table to his father’s seat, his heart aching when he saw it empty like usual. he shook off the feeling, sitting down beside his mother.

the family was lively when they were together, often joking around and laughing. with yoongi’s siblings’ soulmates, things seemed to be amplified. he didn’t mind the soulmates, actually. he liked them both, thought they were nice enough. 

youngho’s wife was stunning, blonde and only a little older than him. she was swedish and used to be in the same classes with youngho during college. they really hit it off and before they were married, hyungsoo was born. yoongi and she got along well enough but she often had her own opinions on lost souls, so their conversations were often short.

yuri’s husband was... eccentric in his own way. he was an japanese inventor and visited yoongi’s shop every so often with a new gadget for the younger to use on his plants. yoongi really liked the man. their twins were adorable and yoongi loved them very much.

“so uh... how have things been, baby?” his mother asked, resting a hand on yoongi’s wrist. he looked up at his family before shrugging. “it’s fine. the shop is fine. i’m fine. namjoon is getting married to his soulmate in a month. it’ll be nice, very pretty.” yoongi spike softly, fearing he might say the wrong thing. his eyes traveled to the empty space for his father.

“ooh, when did namjoon find his soulmate?” yuri asked, her mouth full. her husband laughed, wiping some sauce off of her chin.

“about a year ago. he’s nice... very handsome. he likes to come to the shop and distract namjoon, which is infuriating, but i can handle it.” the family talked some more about yoongi’s nursery before the kids asked to go play. once they were gone, everyone’s eyes began to shift to the empty chair at the table.

“not today, kids... not today.” their mother murmured sadly. yoongi watched his mom leave quickly, going to the kitchen to wash dishes.

“god... i can’t imagine what mom’s going through. it must be terrible to lose your soulmate.” youngho whispered, taking his wife’s hand. yoongi said nothing, only poked at his food. he knew the day would come where his siblings’ partners would die and they’d be in the same state as his mother: constantly aching for one thing and one thing only.

her husband.

“i’m gonna go help her with dishes.” yuri’s husband offered. youngho’s wife said something about leaving soon and quickly got up, making a beeline for the play room. it was only the three siblings now.

“i’m gonna stay here tonight with mom. she’s... it’s different. i can just tell. she’s different now.” yoongi finally said. his sister nodded in agreement.

“i don’t think she’ll be around much longer.” youngho finally admitted. the other two looked at him before silently agreeing.

their mother wasn’t exactly old, she was only seventy, but since their father’s crash and the funeral, it had been clear that she was deteriorating quickly. it was almost as if a part of her died with him. it was quite apparent that her days were numbered.

“we need to get going, sam’s got work. good luck yoon.” youngho stood, gathering up his wife and child before making his leave. after that, yoongi went off to his bedroom, wanting to be alone. he figured that his sister would want to talk about his finding a soulmate again, so he figured it’d be best to get away before it could happen. 

it wasn’t long that he’d been in his room before the front door opened and closed, followed by his mom knocking on his door. he was quick to rise from his bed, pulling the door open. the mother and son stared at each other for a moment before a single tear slipped down the woman’s face. yoongi took her into his arms, holding his sweet mother against his chest. “i’ll stay, mom, i’ll stay.” he whispered, petting her hair.

slowly, yoongi led his mother to her bedroom, tucking her into bed and pecking her forehead. just as he was about to get up to change into pajamas, she took hold of his hand. “please sleep here tonight, yoongi. i need one of my kids with me.” her voice was soft to the point that yoongi himself felt like crying. he nodded feverishly before scurrying off to change.

the second he returned, his mother turned to face him. he curled up beneath the blankets, snuggling up close to her. “i love you, mom.” he whispered into her chest. she hummed softly in response, wrapping an arm tightly around him. he stayed close to her, fearing that if he left she would too.

the woman fell asleep quickly after that, leaving yoongi to his thoughts. the day’s events played back in his mind like a movie, allowing him to carefully analyze each event as it happened. he found himself coming back to the customer from earlier in the day, jeongguk. there was something about him that was different from every other person he’d come across. he couldn’t exactly put his finger on it.

maybe yoongi was going crazy, but he suddenly remembered something he’d once read in a book on lost souls: “those without soul mates will often find even the most simple gestures like a kind smile or a book suggestion as a sign that they’ve met their soulmate. often times, it’s simply false hope that has been pushed to the forefront of their minds, tricking them into heartbreak.” with that, yoongi fell asleep with the reminder that the feeling of something being different was all in his head.

**Author's Note:**

> yes i understand that it says completed and i’m not sure how to fix that but it is NOT COMPLETED there will be more chapters to come!!!


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